The Godly Marriage – Never Alone

“…just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will…” (Eph 1:4-5 nasb)

Journal,

I’ve often thought about what God said about Adam being alone in life. The Lord said,

“It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18)

To simply say, yes, I do believe the Lord brought Betty and me together, leaves something out of the picture. That something is important to understand. But, yes, I do believe the Lord brought Betty and I together.

But to say that every marriage has been ordained by the Lord is questionable. There is too much sin and selfishness and destruction at work in the world. There are too many marriages that don’t survive. Yet we still need to see beyond our limited vision when it comes to marriage, and to where the Lord fits in the marriage picture.

What I do believe is that two strongly consecrated people can marry, even though they never met before, and have a wonderfully successful marriage. Their marriage would be built on a rock of their consecration to the Lord.

Betty and I were strangers when we met. In the natural state of things there was little hope that our marriage would work. One person said that our marriage would not last six months. Of course they were looking through the eyes of the natural. God had other plans.

So much for the opinions of others.

It gets better.

Building on the Rock

Even when there have been failures in marriage, I yet believe that any marriage can be put on a divine path. The secret will always center on a true consecration to the Lord. Finding holiness in marriage is a God thing. It takes three to make it work. You need a husband, a wife, and the Lord Jesus Christ at the very center of the marriage.

Yes, Betty and I were strangers to one another. She was a minister’s daughter and I had just gotten out of the Navy. My order of life was certainly not Christian in any sense of the word. At the same time the Lord had a plan for Betty and me. It wasn’t long before the Lord called me to Himself. Then afterwards He called me into the gospel ministry. What many do not know is that the Lord used Betty in a special way in calling my attention to Him. (A story in itself.)

So, do I believe that the Lord brought Betty and me together. Yes indeed. I do believe the Lord brought us together.

The Lord knew things that we did not know. He knew who each of us needed for our mate. Yes, I will always believe that the Lord was behind our marriage. And for forty-seven plus years we have served the Lord together in the gospel ministry.

By the way, if you need help for your marriage, going to a marriage counselor isn’t always the answer. Finding a older Christian couple who have been married for many years may work even better. Why not seek out their wisdom. They will have some secrets to share with you.

Back to…

Aloneness is Not Good

On a general note this is what I believe about the Biblical marriage in and of itself. When God said that it was not good for man to be alone, I believe this had to do with Adam’s completeness. It seems from the Scriptures that a man cannot realize his full human potential until he is joined with his mate. This joining would need to be a thing from the Lord.

It also works the same for the woman. (This is not to discount the gift of the celibate. Though rare, it is a unique gift of its own.)

The ancient people of God certainly knew this to be true. To the ancient Hebrews, a man was not allowed to speak in the council of elders unless he was married. They felt that an unmarried man diminished the divine image.

To make this interesting the Hebrews actually referred to God as the great Shadchan (marriage maker). While we may think this a bit odd, there are Scriptures that point to God’s involvement with the marriages of His people. Proverbs 19:14, says,

“House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

The Hebrews also held a special belief that the woman was God’s greatest gift to the man. The reason for this was the uniqueness of the woman’s role. And so they taught that God was more than careful in bringing a woman to the man for a marriage.

Thus we have this in Ecclesiastes 9:9 –

“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.”

Perhaps it would be good to look at the uniqueness of this one we call woman.

Called Alongside

The great apostle Paul reflected on God’s gracious gift of the woman, when he said,

“For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.” (1 Co 11:17)

Eve was not merely an after thought of the Lord. Adam and Eve were created as trustees of the earth, working together, with each having their particular nature and gifting. The human family would lead in Adam, and yet even this needs to be understood in its true sense. Both Paul and Peter touch on this in the new covenant.

Paul says that in Christ there is neither male nor female. His point had a view to God’s work of salvation in that no one is greater or lesser when it comes to God’s gift of grace. This doesn’t mean there are no roles of gifting, of responsibility. and of accountability.

Back to God’s Original Plan

Now back to God’s original plan for the human family. The Bible says both Adam and Eve were created in the image of God. But Adam was created first and as such, had covenant responsibility for the family of man. But in his relationship to Eve, Adam was not to be without Eve, and Eve was not to be without Adam. Each had a role to fulfill. Each had giftings that were theirs in particular.

Genesis 2:20, says,

Jesus said,

Ezer is also a very interesting word in that it also carries an idea of freshness, or someone who succors. To succour means to run under, come to the aid of, to help, support, to relieve in difficulty or distress. It is a very strong word.

The root for this word is found it most Semitic languages. For example in Ugaritic, it means to rescue and save. (It is often used in a military sense.)

When the Lord said there was no one who could serve as a helper to Adam, you have to keep in mind what this role really meant. And if men truly understood the gifting given to the woman (wife), never again would they look on her as being inferior in any sense.

Then we have the word ‘suitable.’ This is another interesting word. Listen carefully men — Neged literally means ‘in front of’, ‘in sight of,’ or, ‘opposite to.’ It means she is to be ‘before’ your face. (Not ‘in’your face.) So Adam needed someone whose gifting were companion giftings, to make up for His own lack in areas. Yes, the Lord also designed Adam where he could not be a lone ranger.

Well, there is so much more to be said about the Godly marriage. Perhaps I’ve share enough to stir your heart.

Just one last word.

Don’t be discouraged over anything in life.  Just don’t try to live in the past. Learn to take up your cross and move on with Jesus. He is the God of today and He will meet you in your tomorrows.

In the meantime listen to this beautiful song by the Hoppers, ‘Milk and Honey.’

Much love coming your way,

Buddy

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