My Story
Walking with Jesus, Loving Pentecostals, Following the Gospel
I want to speak carefully here because these words are not written from afar. They are written from inside—from someone who lived this life, loved this movement, and holds in heart all my kinsmen and friends within it.
The United Pentecostal Church gave shape to much of my early walk with God. It gave me Scripture memory, prayer discipline, reverence for holiness, and a deep love for Jesus. For those reasons alone, I value much of my Oneness Pentecostalism background. Nor would I dispute that God has worked—and continues to work—among Oneness Pentecostals.
At the same time, there came a point when certain questions would no longer rest quietly in my heart.
A Place to Begin
I served as a police officer in Grand Junction, Colorado, and later in Moab, Utah. In 1964, I sensed a clear calling from God to enter the ministry. The following year, in 1965, my wife Betty, our firstborn son Nathan, and I moved back to Louisiana to begin that journey.
For the next ten years, I served in various roles within the United Pentecostal Church (UPC)—as a pastor, evangelist, and laborer in the work of the Lord. I want to say this plainly from the beginning: many of my dearest friends, family members, and memories are rooted in the UPC. I am grateful for what God did in my life there.
The Moment That Changed Everything
In 1971, we moved to Los Alamos, New Mexico, to establish a UPC home mission work. It was there that something began to change—not suddenly, but deeply.
During that time, I encountered several sincere believers who were not Pentecostal. What struck me was not their theology, but their spiritual composure—a quiet steadiness, a peace that reflected a genuine walk with Christ. I did not yet understand what I was seeing, but it stirred something in my heart.
“And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.”
(Isaiah 32:17)
I remember asking myself, ‘How could people who did not speak in tongues know Jesus so well?’
The Lord would use that question to bring me to my knees.
Searching the Scriptures
Something didn’t feel right, so I began an intense, prayerful study of the Scriptures. Over time, I came to a difficult realization: the gospel message we Pentecostals were preaching did not fully align with the gospel the apostles preached.
As I studied the Scriptures more carefully, I began to see that the Bible places the assurance of salvation not in an outward sign, but in an inward work of faith. Speaking in tongues appears in Scripture as a beautiful and sovereign gift of the Spirit—but I could not find where Jesus or the apostles presented it as the required evidence of salvation.
This realization did not come easily. It came with prayer, tears, and a great deal of internal conflict.
So as a repeat, Jesus never taught that speaking in tongues was the evidence of salvation. Neither did the apostles, the early church, nor the historic church at large. That teaching is uniquely Pentecostal.
The Book of Acts records only a few instances where tongues appear, and in every case they were sovereign acts of God, spontaneous, uncoached, and corporate in nature. Acts spans more than 35 years of transitional church history—it was never meant to be reduced to a formula.
Paul clearly defined the gospel this way:
“If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
(Romans 10:9–10)
And he warned with sobering clarity:
“If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed.”
(Galatians 1:8–9)
I remember asking myself, Why had I never seen this before?
A Gospel of the Heart
The answer became clear: salvation is a heart exchange, not an emotional event. At the cross, Jesus took our place and gave us His standing before God. That is why you will find genuine, born-again believers in every Christian denomination.
Troubled in spirit, Betty and I stepped away from the mission work and evangelized briefly. Our final revival saw at least twenty-five people baptized. Yet even as the altars filled, my heart ached. I watched sincere seekers struggle through what Pentecostals call “praying through,” often under enormous emotional pressure.
You could not simply kneel beside someone and explain salvation by faith. Most had been raised to believe salvation must feel a certain way.
About the Altar Experience
Pentecostal altar services are often intense, emotional, and deeply sincere. I have knelt there myself—many times. I have prayed with seekers, formed the circle, encouraged, shouted, and rejoiced. I know the language. I know the longing.
Yet over time, I noticed something troubling—not in the desire of the seekers, but in the burden they carried afterward.
Many left the altar full of emotion, only to wake the next morning unsure of what had truly happened. Questions arose—not because they lacked sincerity, but because their assurance had been tied to an experience rather than to Christ Himself.
This is not a criticism of hunger for God. It is a concern for tender hearts.
Why So Many Struggle Quietly
This is why so many Oneness Pentecostals experience an undercurrent of fear—not always expressed aloud, but felt. Fear of not having accomplished enough. Fear of getting something wrong. Fear that assurance will slip away.
I felt it myself. I once told my wife, “Honey, I feel like I’m caught in a net, and I don’t know what it is.”
The net was not Jesus.
The net was not Scripture.
The net was a system that unintentionally placed sincere believers in a cycle of doubt.
True freedom in Christ grows best where love casts out fear.
A Season of Healing
From August 1971 to August 1974, I attended and served in a UPC church led by a kind and gracious pastor. I will always love that man and his family. Those years became a season of healing for me. I preached, served, and studied—seeking to align my beliefs fully with God’s Word.
One conversation with that godly pastor has remained with me. When I told him I no longer believed tongues were necessary as proof of salvation, he surprised me by saying that many early UPC ministers held the same view, but that view was later overshadowed by stricter teaching.
We agreed not to be concerned about it and worked together in love for three years.
In 1974, I officially left the UPC.
Reaching Back: How I Came to Know Jesus
My journey with Jesus truly began in 1963. After leaving the Navy, a cousin invited me to church. That’s where I first saw the beautiful Pentecostal girl who would become my wife. We married later that year—over sixty-two years ago.
A few months later, during a quiet Sunday afternoon, I was reading John 14 when the Scriptures came alive. It felt as though the Holy Spirit opened my ears—and my heart.
“Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not known Me, Buddy?”
(John 14:9)
Tears fell onto my open Bible. In that moment, I knew—not emotionally, but inwardly—that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God. I believed with my whole heart.
My thoughts returned to a prayer my mother had taught me as a child: “Now I lay me down to sleep… if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord to take my soul.” And now I had met the ‘Lord’ that I had prayed to as a child.
That faith has never abandoned me.
“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God.”
(Romans 8:16)
Why This Matters
Salvation is not sustained by emotion. If the Holy Spirit enters a believer’s heart, He will still be there tomorrow—and the next day, and the next. That is the testimony of the Spirit.
Some Pentecostals struggle because they try to base their faith on religious experiences rather than Christ Himself. Doubt can easily arise after emotional highs, not because the devil is attacking, but because the foundation is unstable.
True freedom in Christ cannot flourish in the face of doctrinal fear.
A Gentle Word—Especially for Women
I must also speak gently but honestly here. In many Pentecostal settings, women carry a disproportionate weight—rules, expectations, and standards that are often presented as holiness, yet rest on little clear biblical foundation.
Many of these women love God deeply. They are faithful, prayerful, and sincere. My concern has never been their devotion—but the unnecessary burdens placed upon them.
Jesus never crushed bruised reeds. He restored them.
If You Are Reading This with a Heavy Heart
If you are a Oneness Pentecostal reading this and feeling unsettled, please hear me clearly:
I am not asking you to abandon your love for Jesus.
I am inviting you to anchor that love more securely in Him.
Questions do not mean rebellion.
Rest does not mean compromise.
Peace does not mean deception.
Sometimes it simply means that the heart has finally found its footing.
A Safe Place to Talk
If you are still sorting these things out, please take your time. God is patient. Truth does not need pressure to stand. The Lord who saved you is the same Lord who will gently guide you.
And if my story raises questions or stirs pain, you are not alone. I help host a private Facebook support group for those navigating the life of Pentecostalism. It is a place of friendship—not debate.
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/Departing
You may also contact me privately at Buddy@ChristianChallenge.org or through Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/BuddyMartin
A Closing Word
To all my friends—Pentecostal and otherwise:
May your heart awaken to the Scriptures.
May His presence draw you close.
May His Word steady your steps.
And may His peace rest upon Israel and upon your home.
Walking with you in His love,
The Old-Time Country Preacher
Lawrence “Buddy” Martin
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